always in training

The puppy's name is Lilly.

Killed by karate last night, my body started doing weird things. Just moving wrongly and now hurts all over today. It's nice. I've been stepping up my training for some reason. Not so much with karate (I've fallen into only doing that once a week) but with everything else. I can't really explain it except to say I'm operating in a heightened sense of tension. I've been working harder and longer on projects even when I'm totally wiped, and slacking off much less. Maybe it's the impending spring, but suddenly everything I do is with purpose and direction, though I don't know at what it's aimed.

Saw an old art school friend of mine tonight at work. One of the central characters of many good/bad times in university. Fun. Hopefully collaboration is in the future for us, though if I continue my recent bout of extreme introversion I doubt if I'll ever see her again.

No Name

Today took an odd turn in the afternoon when I found myself driving out to rural Saskatchewan to pick up a puppy. My younger brother and sister and I picked out a Blue Heeler pup and now we have a dog. I've spent the last few months lamenting my choice in apartment (no pets, no exceptions), so this is the next best thing. Now I just need to think of a good name. We've been throwing around Sophie and Lilly as our top two, but if anyone has any suggestions, I'm all ears.

I'm still twenty-two

Green tea (with a slight citrus taste) always takes me back to when I was fifteen. At least, I think it's fifteen I'm thinking of. But I can place myself, timeless in space to where my body was and how it moved at the time. And as far back as I go (physically) I know that I am right here at my computer (physically). Maybe that makes no sense whatsoever, but there is a knowing sureness that a person feels throughout time and existence. Like living out other lives while simultaneously living this one. And it sometimes tastes like lemon green tea.
---

I slept a broken sleep last night. I dreamed lucidly of life lived and left behind. Everything was current, but it was still very long ago. And I awoke with six hours rest, to daylight illuminating my bedroom. In residual unrest, I felt bared and alone and at peace with my many little personal torments acquired over the years. And surprisingly I drew for an hour and a half straight before driving off to work. It felt good. I need to start getting up earlier. Meeting the day rather than ignoring it.

As much as I know how vital a good work ethic is to many of the projects I work on, These past few days have afforded me nothing but restless sleeps followed by an unwillingness to awaken, whatever the time. Even with relentlessly approaching deadlines, I find myself pissing away time with the internet, other comics, and idle tasks. I am now fairly deep into designing a website, which is fun if not at all a necessary use of my time. I have my second monitor finally set up to make working on storyboards easier (I'm told two monitors result in twice the productivity, but all I've managed is twice the procrastination).

random things to get:
flatbed scanner
bookshelf
4.5mm & 3.8mm bits
fuse
3v coin batteries
PICO II 2.5a fuse
solder iron
time

my prospective week

Two pages left to pencil for my bear comic, which I will publish under the title Evening Comics. About two pages left to pencil for the next issue of Valuable (leaving a total of three to ink for Valuable). A ton of work for the storyboard. Need new work to be compiled/completed for the gallery next week. Blah Blah Blah.

I should get started on a website. Maybe if I had one I would feel inclined to fill it with work.

money, cars, comics

I feel like I lost a month somehow. I don't know where, but I'm suspicious.

I put some cheques in the bank last week and found I was short a little under $1100. I just found the money in another savings account, which is a relief. Losing a month is one thing, but a thousand bucks is a thousand bucks. I could buy TWO months with that kind of money.

This is the point in my post that I mention I am stricken with delirious insomnia.

I finally got my new car today. It is a 1996 Subaru Legacy station wagon. Totally my art-mobile. And if you rearrange the letters in 'art' you get 'rat'. My new car is now officially the rat-mobile; An obvious play on the bat-mobile but with rats instead of bats. Rats are cute. Bats too.

This is the point in my post that I reiterate my previous statement about insomnia and delirium.

Bear comic is more than half-sketched. I'm stoked. I spent all evening talking comics with my brother. Reevaluating life, etc. I'm getting more and more behind in necessary work, but I don't mind for now. I blame it on losing about a month. Despite being in a fairly productive and prolific state comic-wise, I think I'm starting to lose some of my zeal. I'm worried about the future right now, although when I think about it and break it down, I can only see me continuing with what I've been doing. Still fear of failure is only second to fear of success. Maybe I'm just scared right now.

I've been having interesting dreams lately. None of them very settling, but they are interesting nonetheless.

I will now end this post by saying the following: insomnia causes delirium and delirium causes insomnia.