back to civilization

Nothing like a little distance to put things into perspective. I got back from a week-long trip to the mountains with my father last night. We rock climb, and so the trip was spent checking out a fairly wild area in Alberta called Ghost River Wilderness (which wasn't as creepy as the foreboding name would have you believe) and then rock climbing at a familiar crag near Revelstoke BC. I have to say, I haven't been to Revelstoke in two years and I didn't realize how much I missed the place until I got there. We were camping out of the back of a truck in a provincial park, and aside from feeling like a badass mountain man, the many aspects of the forest reminded me that I need to always go back to nature. I also caught up with a friend I met there three years ago, and aside from knowing this girl for a total of two days over three years, I feel revitalized knowing that sweet, earnest people like her exist. I left my home jaded by the summer, sick of the city I was living in and even the people I was surrounding myself with. Now, with a little perspective, I feel like I can alter my life to affect positive changes. It's all a frame of mind, and sometimes that can get out of hand. I'm already looking into resources to go back next year.

FUNemployment

I'm currently unemployed. It's only for another two or three weeks when I begin my job touring around Saskatchewan teaching comics workshops for students in rural schools, but I'm unemployed nonetheless. It's pretty fun seeing my money slowly drain even in the week that I've been without work. It's a clear reminder that I'm only just making ends meet. I have a little savings, but would be loathe to tap into them even in an emergency. Money blows.

So what I have been doing with my free time? Working actually. I'm clearly spoiling myself, but I've been living the good life of being artistically productive. There's a coffee shop called Atlantis three blocks from my apartment where a few of my friends work and a lot of cool and interesting people frequent. I've been spending all my time drinking coffee and drawing people in the corner. I'm not sure if it's an entirely sustainable existence, but it's been a pretty great week.

i bought new pillows

I have trouble sleeping, I have trouble waking up. Somewhere in between is where I've been living lately. I'm stuck between dreams and reality.

The fox. The snake.

Right now, I find myself being persistent.

At what point does persistence become foolish? I have been foolish in the past. In the past, I have stuck my hand into the fire and learned the consequence of fearlessness.

I am with fear. I am a fool. And I persist.

At what point does one yield to circumstance? And when does one bend circumstance to one's will? At what point does one yield?

If given the choice between yielding and persisting, given the circumstance, one could grow to become a lord or a fool.

Right now, I feel myself being persistent.

give me back my name

Oh life. So much happens and then suddenly stops. Not that my life is standing still at the moment, but I can feel a dead halt somewhere in the near future. Not much I can do but ride it out with good intentions. I've been continuing to listen to my instincts and not get so caught up in situations while at the same time allowing myself to be swept up by/with situations. I read a bunch of autobiographical comics by jeffrey brown, which seems to coincide nicely with a strong urge to make comics about the last month of my life and onward. I bought a sketchbook with the intentions of throwing down a comic page anytime I want (much more simple than laying out a large piece of stonehenge and much more portable). It's a fine line between airing dirty laundry and making a personal statement with comics. I've always resisted the desire to draw directly from my life, but recent events have fallen together so nicely/weirdly that it might as well have been written. Or maybe this is my newest way of over-thinking relationships. Instead of acknowledging my thoughts I put them down in comic-form. I guess that's as healthy as anything I've done in the past.

art happens

Life's been kind of awesome/strange this past little while. A lot of things are really coming together for me. My brother and I got acceptance for a show we proposed to the Art Gallery of Regina, but the show isn't until Spring 2012... Apparently with the stipulation that all the work be brand new. Suddenly I have an excuse to work on bigger projects. Even if its not for another three years, it's good to have something to work towards in the so-distant future. I don't know where I'll be at by then, but I know I like where I'm at now and that is a good foundation for building a future on.

Simultaneously, I'm inspired to do comics in the present. I've been sleeping less and working more, and it seems that my life is ripe for plucking ideas and putting them on paper. I've decided to do an ongoing secret-comic in my sketchbook. It's going to be a wanky, autobiographical, over-sensitive thing, but at least it's work. I will no longer turn down an idea if I'm inclined to work on it.

last quarter (and dawning)

I've been hanging out a lot with friends these days. Mostly surrounding improv festivals, it has been a rapturous week or so of revelry. I've never been particularly adept in social situations, but for whatever reason I've been craving and embracing these kinds of interactions. And watching sunrises on rooftops.

It has also been worth noting to me that everyone is insane right now. I thought it must be a full moon or something (it's not, it's a waning quarter tonight), but I'm really unsure of the reason. I've been yelled at from moving vehicles constantly, almost killed by oblivious drivers, and approached by wild animals or strangers with odd requests. I'm not complaining, it's just funny to be so aware of oddities occurring at an increased rate.