on the road again

I'm sitting in a large two-twin-bedded room in a motel in the town of La Ronge, Saskatchewan a town of thirthy-five hundred people. We, the four of the five who make up the party of this tour, spent a little over seven hours driving from Regina (a modest drive considering the thirteen-hour deathride I took between Revelstoke BC and Regina SK not three weeks ago) are resting up for a series of art-related workshops we are to give. After we give these workshops tomorrow, we drive to another town to sleep. To wake and give more workshops after which we drive to another town to sleep. I am on the road for a solid two weeks in rural Northern Saskatchewan. This is the first day (driving day mind) of a two-month commitment starting with this two week trip. More often after this, we will be visiting towns less far from Regina, and be able to drive home to sleep at night. I'm looking forward to sleeping in my bed again. But more than that, when this is all over, I'm looking forward to sleeping in my own bed, and then leaving my bed and going on the road to a destination of my own choosing.

Maybe I do need to travel. Or maybe I need to move cities.

If you stand in a deep well and look up at the daytime sky, do you see stars?

The harvest moon looms over the horizon and I am drinking one purchased shot of espresso and one freely given shot of espresso in a now-cooled cup of just boiled water. I don't know the baristas though they have both served me on occasion. I'm bad with names and knowing if I know people or not. I haven't drawn her yet, and may yet tonight if I'm here for long enough. Actually, I have not drawn the long-haired gentleman yet either. I make a habit of coming to this coffee shop to work, though lately I work only because I come here. It is an escape and a reason to spend money. A reason to leave the house and be productive even though the majority of my resources are inside my apartment. In my third week of unemployment I begin to hit my stride, no longer struggling to fill my days, but allowing them to remain empty if they must. I've been to this coffee shop once already today.

Now that the days grow darker faster it is ten at eight and ghosting images mirror off of the large plate glass windows affording an expanded view of the coffee bar. I sit in the corner, wall to my back.

I sometimes see people I know, and am glad when they stop to chat, but mostly I enjoy seeing how many people I don't know. Being a happily anonymous face in a coffee shop.

World Domination and you.

http://chrisguillebeau.com/3×5/a-brief-guide-to-world-domination

My friend Spencer sent me that link a few weeks ago before I went on my trip. Unlike most articles I'm given that I just skim through, I really sat down and read this one. And the next day I woke up and started writing out lists and goals and the like. I thought that my life-changing experience would be hampered by a weeklong excursion into the wild, but much to my surprise, the opposite was true.

Living with only the bare essentials for even a week has made me realize that I need very little to live and fill the rest of my life with a clutter of wants. Some are beneficial, but more than not they are a hinderance on my state of existence. My days of obligation are over. I'm making a point of living for myself and not defaulting to the expectations of others. More than ever before, I have a clear idea of how I want to spend my life, and what it will take for me to take over the world.

Unfortunately this means pulling back from a lot of things in order actually get what I want. Essentially I am pursuing a life of selfish asceticism for now, so we'll see.

back to civilization

Nothing like a little distance to put things into perspective. I got back from a week-long trip to the mountains with my father last night. We rock climb, and so the trip was spent checking out a fairly wild area in Alberta called Ghost River Wilderness (which wasn't as creepy as the foreboding name would have you believe) and then rock climbing at a familiar crag near Revelstoke BC. I have to say, I haven't been to Revelstoke in two years and I didn't realize how much I missed the place until I got there. We were camping out of the back of a truck in a provincial park, and aside from feeling like a badass mountain man, the many aspects of the forest reminded me that I need to always go back to nature. I also caught up with a friend I met there three years ago, and aside from knowing this girl for a total of two days over three years, I feel revitalized knowing that sweet, earnest people like her exist. I left my home jaded by the summer, sick of the city I was living in and even the people I was surrounding myself with. Now, with a little perspective, I feel like I can alter my life to affect positive changes. It's all a frame of mind, and sometimes that can get out of hand. I'm already looking into resources to go back next year.

FUNemployment

I'm currently unemployed. It's only for another two or three weeks when I begin my job touring around Saskatchewan teaching comics workshops for students in rural schools, but I'm unemployed nonetheless. It's pretty fun seeing my money slowly drain even in the week that I've been without work. It's a clear reminder that I'm only just making ends meet. I have a little savings, but would be loathe to tap into them even in an emergency. Money blows.

So what I have been doing with my free time? Working actually. I'm clearly spoiling myself, but I've been living the good life of being artistically productive. There's a coffee shop called Atlantis three blocks from my apartment where a few of my friends work and a lot of cool and interesting people frequent. I've been spending all my time drinking coffee and drawing people in the corner. I'm not sure if it's an entirely sustainable existence, but it's been a pretty great week.

i bought new pillows

I have trouble sleeping, I have trouble waking up. Somewhere in between is where I've been living lately. I'm stuck between dreams and reality.

The fox. The snake.

Right now, I find myself being persistent.

At what point does persistence become foolish? I have been foolish in the past. In the past, I have stuck my hand into the fire and learned the consequence of fearlessness.

I am with fear. I am a fool. And I persist.

At what point does one yield to circumstance? And when does one bend circumstance to one's will? At what point does one yield?

If given the choice between yielding and persisting, given the circumstance, one could grow to become a lord or a fool.

Right now, I feel myself being persistent.